As I sit at the airport processing the last 49 days of my life, I can’t help but think that in this moment is exactly where I am supposed to be. I am leaving my placement 2 weeks earlier than planned due to a family emergency. However amazing those two weeks could have been absolutely does not take away from the time I did have, the people I met and the immense pride I feel having participated in this project. There were times I felt defeated and invisible, frustrated and disappointed, sad and even more sad, but those were far outweighed by the times I felt impactful, excited, successful, proud and lucky.

Waves of change:

The initial first days and weeks into my placement (and even now) I was struggling to conceptualize how I was going to complete all of the deliverables I set out for myself prior to arriving. Or more truthfully, what those goals even were given the state of the project. I was frazzled and confiding in my cohort mates, program advisors and my friends. It was a shock to my otherwise “go with the flow” persona. I felt I needed to step in but was doubting the scale and impact I could achieve in such a short time. So, I tried to put into action the skills and education I have obtained from the EC program thus far to guide me in my uncertainty.

Admittedly, I tend to take on a lot of tasks with grandiose goals and ideas, and then get smacked in the face with a reality check. Maybe we all do this sometimes? This was the case after these initial days/weeks. I personally saw areas needing improvement that would make my life, and assumedly everyone’s lives easier if implemented. Overall, there seemed to be a lack of organization, accountability, urgency, communication and many other things that come with a new project, especially this new (the first of its kind in the world). To solve these concerns, I tried to look for the root of what I deemed a problem. I initially contributed this solely to the Icelandic culture (see my previous posts), given the obvious location and majority nationality of the employees being Icelandic. However, this wasn’t exclusively the employees at the Sanctuary itself, but also including the construction companies and the business side as well as. I was essentially blaming this cultural “flaw” for the list of improvements I was trying to make. Overcoming an obstacle such as a cultural norm in the form of “work ethic” was realistically unattainable, especially if it isn’t consensually deemed a flaw.

Check yoself before you wreck yoself:

It was then, after I accepted that I cannot change an instilled characteristic of their society, when I realized I had been approaching this from more of a micro lens. I was solely focused on the differences in work ethic between myself, an American, and the Icelandic (and other European) employees at the Sanctuary, which to me was accounting for all of my concerns. When in reality I needed to expand to a more macro approach, and consider outside influences that were at play. Organizations and projects that are new (or old) need a good foundation and appropriate tools to succeed. Throughout our EC program we learned and read about countless examples of projects that were either successful because they were appropriately prepared and had great leadership or failed because there was clearly a lacking component. We also learned that this list isn’t exclusive and can be defined differently based on goals and biases. To me, a solid foundation and appropriate tools in the form of sufficient funding, lateral and top down communication, experts or experienced leaders and a collaborative team are necessary. In our case, they were lacking. This was not the fault of the individuals at the Sanctuary, but rather from the top. I struggle to be lenient and provide excuses or reasons I believe this was the case, but if I am being honest with myself and those that are reading, it was all about the money. Which as we all know is very powerful, influential and limited in conservation projects and the lack or mismanagement of it can be detrimental.

After coming to terms and having this “ah-ha” lightbulb moment, it became much more personal for me. I let down my wall of frustration with the individuals and the process, because I finally understood that everyone was simply doing what they could with the tools they were provided. I began working WITH them, not AMONGST them. I formed relationships and friendships over our love and passion for this project. In this way, this placement was less “professional” in the sense that many of my cohort mates went to work in settings where they were seeking approval on projects or documents, and strict deadlines and agendas to be met. We were a family, a team, relying on one another and doing our best with a lot at stake (hello, the lives of animals!). There was no formal management that was hands-on we reported to, but instead we reported to one another, trusted implicitly and were emotionally invested in our work.

There were minor improvements made towards the day-to-day operations at the Sanctuary, some with my help and guidance. When brought to their attention they were understanding, in agreement and appreciative that I was trying to take the initiative and help them create standards and organizational tools. Again, the lack of these steps in the first place ultimately boiled down to not enough people to get the amount of stuff done in a day, which was a result in a lack of resources and you guessed it….MONEY. I was that extra person they needed, and I was happy to be that for them. Every day got easier once I accepted what I could not change, and differentiated expectations versus reality.

My goals and deliverables changed almost instantly upon arrival. Most becoming obsolete, while others morphed into attainable tasks. Did I achieve my written list of actionable items for the Sanctuary, no. Did I achieve personal growth, help the Sanctuary succeed to this moment in time and take away every learning opportunity I could, yes. Would I have changed anything, never.

Final thoughts:

There is no model to mimic, nor standards for a beluga whale seaside sanctuary because there has been nothing like this before. We were, and still are, the trial and error. We are the chaos before the calm. I say “we” because I was, and will always be, considered part of the team. I say this with pride knowing that I was in the “trenches” with these people when the times were tough and we were pulling all-nighter rotational shifts to watch the whales, to only then have to come back hours later to take care of the fish, puffins and other animals that depended on us, all with a smile for the visitors coming to have a look while we were perpetually covered in fish guts and bird shit. I say this with pride knowing that after all of the official people (press, media, etc.) returned to their comfortable daily lives and offices, we stayed behind to handle any and everything that could happen in this vulnerable situation. I also say it with pride because our “girls” are getting better by the day, after setbacks and scares, and will soon be in their rightful home, thanks to this family of amazing people.

• 

• 

What’s next?

I have been asked many times by my team if and when I will return, I have been offered a job on the beluga care team if I want it, I have been networking with many amazing individuals, but for now my life is pretty undecided. Family matters have taken my attention at the moment, but I am still and will remain active in the whale world as I can.

During my time in Iceland, I was also working in my new role as the American Cetacean Society’s Advocacy Chair. In this role, it is my responsibility to create and research advocacy action items for our member base to participate in. To start, I created a survey to acquire member feedback on their current efforts, particular areas of interest, etc. I have also been drafting comments for a document to the New Zealand Government regarding the welfare of cetaceans within their waters. This position is exciting, and I am eager to continue my efforts with ACS.

I will be attending the World Marine Mammal conference in Barcelona in December and I will hopefully (likely) be attending the International Whaling Commission’s bi-annual meeting in Slovenia next year on behalf of ACS. The end goal is to work with The Whale Sanctuary Project as soon as they begin the building process after site selection (2020). Having this experience is vital and will serve me well in this venture, for which I am so grateful.

I know for certain that whales will always be my thing, and I will never stop fighting for them.